Dear aspiring protagonists everywhere:
If you discover that your antagonist is searching for a macguffin, and has been for ages, do NOT undertake an epic quest to find it before they do, defeating all those complicated safeguards that have protected the thing this long. The bloody thing was far safer where it was than it is in your hands, because if the enemy could have gotten to it, they'd have it by now. THEY'RE JUST GOING TO LET YOU GET IT FOR THEM AND THEN TAKE IT FROM YOU. A plucky youth cannot guard an artifact better than the fucking Dragons of Eternity, I don't care if you DID manage to beat the Dragons of Eternity to get it. They were probably instructed to give it only to someone pure of heart or some such bullshit, which is why it's been out of harm's way all this time.
I swear, it's as if a character automatically loses twenty IQ points as soon as the spotlight shines on them.
